


Words of Affirmation

by HalloweenBae



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Negan - Freeform, Shower Sex, The Sanctuary, Vaginal Sex, single mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 05:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16131020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalloweenBae/pseuds/HalloweenBae
Summary: You’re a single mom who recently took refuge at The Sanctuary, and Negan notices you.





	1. Chapter 1

The sun hung high in the sky as you made your way out of the Sanctuary to watch your son play soccer in the field. It was your lunch break, well, technically. You weren’t exactly used to eating three square meals at their scheduled times yet, but you took advantage of the free time that they gave you. You put a hand over your eyes to shield them from the sun as you stepped closer to the makeshift field and scanned the children for your son.

David was a few yards away, kicking the ball between two other children a few years older than him. He was laughing. For once! He was laughing and playing with these children as if the past four years had never even happened. He was healthy and happy, and by the look on his face, you could tell that he finally felt safe in his environment. 

You crossed your arms over your chest and let out a relieved sigh. You never thought you’d live long enough to be the soccer mom sitting on the sidelines of one of his games, cheering him on with a picture pin of him fastened to your sweatshirt, but this was close enough. Yeah, this was just about damn near perfect. 

“Which one’s yours?” A husky voice came from behind you. 

Your first instinct was to reach for your knife, but you stopped yourself when you saw who it was. Negan, you’d heard the people call him, the leader of this compound, was standing behind you. Didn’t he have more important things to do?

“The dark-haired one.” You smiled and pointed to David. 

“Takes after his mama, huh?” His boots squeaked in the grass as he walked up beside you, the warmth of his body somehow managing to heat you up without any form of contact. 

“He looks like me, yeah. He’s happy here.” You glanced back at him. “We’re very grateful you took us in.”

“Oh that is not. A. Problem,” he said, taking his time with each word. He stepped up next to you, leaning on his bat like some sort of cane. “Not a problem at all.” His smile was delicious, making your chest flush a red color you only recognized when you drank wine. “So where’s Dad, if you don’t mind me askin’?” He looked over at you as David and the other children ran off after the ball. 

“Oh, his dad was never… I mean, he uh…” you felt your face heat up like it always did when people asked you this question. You hated telling anyone the sad story about your divorce, about your marriage that barely even existed. It always made you feel like a failure, even though you knew you were better off because of it. “I’m a single mom,” you told him, simplifying your answer.

“Really?” He smiled and licked his lips. “You mean to tell me you’ve raised a kid that well-mannered all on your own? With all that shit going on out there?” He took a step forward, walking in front of you as your eyes met. 

“Yeah well, it wasn’t easy, but we’re here.” You paused, squinting your eyes at him. “How do you know he’s well-mannered?” You glanced over at him as he played ball with the other kids. The sun danced through his hair as he waved at you and Negan, smiling and laughing as he made his way across the field.

“People talk.” He twirled his bat in a circle. “And talk is that you’ve got a polite young man on your hands.” He put a gloved hand up to his chest. “I don’t think that’s a coincidence, and no, I can’t imagine it was...” he paused and waved at your son before looking back at you, his smile warming you up. “Easy, I mean.” He licked his lips with sincerity and intention, biting his lower lip as he held you with his gaze. “It’s not everyone who can do what you do everyday and still manage to be a good mom.”

“I do my best.” You confessed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. How did he know you were a good mom? He could have just caught your son in a good mood, and made assumptions from there. And why did he care enough to say anything to you about it? The two of you had only been there a few weeks, you didn’t even think he knew who you were.

“So, how’re we doing?” He broke the tension with a change in tone. “We taking good care of you? Is your bed soft enough to lay that pretty little head of yours down at night?” He swung his bat in a circle again and started walking towards the factory. 

“Is this a manager’s visit to the table in the middle of my meal kind of thing?” You asked, instinctively following his lead by walking alongside him.

“You could call it that, yeah.” He kept the rhythm of his bat slow and circular as he glanced down at you occasionally. “I like to check up on my people, see how they’re doing, make sure they’re happy.” He stopped at a picnic table near the back of the building, steadying Lucille against his heel. “Are you happy here?” 

“I’m alive.” You answered, watching him climb on top on the table. 

“That’s not what I asked.” He rested the bat on the side and sat directly on the table, patting the spot next to him. “I asked you if you’re happy.”

“Happiness isn’t really a luxury I can afford right now.” You hadn’t thought about that word in ages: happiness. What kind of outrageous idea was that?

“What if you could?” His smirk crept across his lips, parting them like dominoes in a line of straight and perfect teeth.

“What do you mean?” You rose your eyebrow, skeptical of his candid invitation, but took a seat anyways. 

“I’ve seen you with him, with the others. They respect you, hell, they even look up to you.” He licked his lips and rested his elbows on his knees, his long stature not cooperating with his position. “Simon told me you led the rest of your group here, that you were the one making all the hard decisions and tough calls. That true?” He turned to you, his face closer than it’s ever been.

“I mean, yeah, I guess.” You rubbed the back of your neck, not sure how to take a compliment from a ruler who seemed to be obeyed strictly out of fear. Why was he being so nice to you?

“Did they listen to you?” His hazel eyes darkened as they dropped from your eyes to your lips. 

“Nobody else could decide on anything. They kept arguing back and forth so I just stood up and made a choice for them.” You sighed and reflected on the past four years of your life on the road. “After that, they always looked to me for answers, even when I didn’t have them…”

“You liked that kind of power?” He turned his whole body toward you, his voice dropping down an octave.

“It was exhausting.” You turned to meet him, your lips almost brushing against his. “Like I had five kids instead of one, you know?” You swallowed hard, your smirk turning into a laugh as his impending closeness made you nervous. 

“What if I could end all that?” He raised his gloved hand and traced the outline of your cheek. “What if you could rest, and not worry about being so damn strong all the time?” 

“Wha…?” His finger on your skin stirred a basket of butterflies in your stomach, forcing your body into a chain reaction you hadn’t felt in years. Was he flirting with you? Is that why he was being so nice? Why could you never tell the difference between the two? Is that why he made you feel… like this? 

“I could take care of you and your boy, make sure you have everything you need.” The warmth of his breath was on you now, brushing the hairs on the back of your neck as they stood at full attention. The strands on your head and arms followed suit in a cascade of electricity, your skin alive with desire as it begged to be touched. 

“This is already so much better than what we had, I couldn’t ask you to go out of your way to…” The sensation of his fingers in your hair cut you off, stealing the rest of your sentence from your mouth.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be going out of my way.” He shook his head. “Not one bit. Not even a little.” His smile widened with confidence. 

God, what was it about him? His voice, his face, his swagger all sent you spinning, but you just chalked it up to finally seeing a new face for the first time in four years. A handsome face that’s offering you a chance to… what, exactly?

“Stay with me.” He massaged the back of your neck as he made his intentions clear. “Be my wife.”

“Your wife?” You exclaimed, looking him dead in the eyes. “Don’t you already have a few?” You didn’t want to piss him off, but you also didn’t want to sound uninformed.

“My wives never have to worry about a thing. Your son will get whatever he wants, the top of the line; and you…” he dragged his thumb across your bottom lip, pulling it down your chin. “I’ve got some ideas for you.”


	2. Chapter 2

“And this is our last stop.” He closed the door behind him, unzipping his jacket. “Why don’t you sit down? Take a load off?” His deep voice echoed against the well-decorated walls of his spacious bedroom. 

“Oh, that’s okay.” You looked over at the black leather couches that faced each other, separated by a beautiful coffee table with intricate candles in the center. What kind of man lived like this in this type of environment? “I haven’t sat on a couch that nice in…”

“In a long time, I know.” He winked at you as he set his bat down in the corner of the room. “That’s why I want you to.” 

“It’s really not necessary. I should get back to work, Max will think that I…” you pointed toward the armory.

“I don’t give a shit what Max thinks. He knows you’re with me, and that’s all that matters.” He slunk across his boudoir, leaning backward as he approached you. “And I have one of my top people looking after your little boy, so don’t you worry about him either.”

“You do, huh?” You crossed your arms over your chest, amazed at his generosity but skeptical of how quickly you were able to achieve it.

“Yeah. Hell yeah!” He smirked, looking you over. “You strike me as a woman who always puts the needs of others before her own; someone who forgets herself at the end of the day. Now, as a leader, I can respect that, but…” he smiled slowly, closing the space between you. “Don't you think it’s time for a break? A little ‘me time’?” He placed his hand on your shoulder, gently teasing the sensitive skin on your neck with his thumb.

“I’ve never even thought about that.” You felt your body tense up, your muscles reacting to the new sensation of another human being gently rubbing them. You hadn’t felt this way in years, the warmth of his presence enveloping you in a sweet euphoric high. You couldn’t imagine that after all these years of fighting, of struggling just to survive, that someone like him wanted to touch you like this.

“I like that about you, but when’s the last time someone tended to your needs?” He whispered as he brought you close to him. “When was the last time someone asked you about your day?” His fingers pressed deeper into your shoulder, bringing you so close you could almost kiss him. “Pampered you, worshipped you, had someone watch the kid so you could relax, maybe even rub those pretty little feet of yours?”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t even if you’d tried. All you could do was stare at his salacious lips as his tongue slowly rolled across them, bringing them to yours. Flesh against flesh, tongue against tongue, he opened you up as your skepticism vanished. His fingers weaved through your hair and up your scalp, melding your mouths even closer together as that incredible high intensified. You breathed him in as you tasted his mouth, the saltiness of his lips strange yet familiar. 

This is what you’d been missing, what you had pent up inside you for all of those years. All that rage and killing on the road couldn’t suffice, couldn’t assuage the desire inside of you to let loose, to give yourself over to someone else completely. You knew that letting him in was risky, that you’d probably get hurt in the process, but you didn’t care. He was handsome and powerful, and happened to be offering a stable life for you and your son. Right now that sounded like an amazing alternative to raising him on the road on the verge of starvation.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he hummed against your lips. “Wash the last four years off you.”

A shower… right in his bedroom, you couldn’t believe it! You couldn’t believe that any of this was happening, but like a dream you went along with it, afraid of what harsh reality you might wake up to. You felt him take your hand and lead you into his bathroom, his appliances practical and rustic. You tried to think of what kind of place this used to be before the world fell apart, but were distracted by the sound of water pouring out of the shower head.

Instinctively you walked right up to it, opening your hand to the lukewarm spray as it soaked your palm and fingers. The sound of each drop echoed against the tile as it hit your tired and worn skin. You were sure you were smiling, each digit dancing through the waterfall as it warmed up to an almost scorching temperature. 

“Careful,” he warned, having already disrobed. “It can get pretty hot.” He winked. 

You stared at him in awe, your eyes widening as your jaw dropped to the floor. How did he get naked so quickly? Were you staring at the shower head for that long? Why did he look so fucking good? And oh God, he was monstrous.

“Your turn.” He pointed toward the shower. “That is, if you still want to.”

“I do! You just, uh, you look …” you licked your lips without even knowing it, drawing a smile from his. “You look great.” You chuckled, still unable to believe your luck. 

He rose his eyebrows and tilted his head, glancing at the shower then back at you. You took the hint, pulling off your shirt and unclasping your bra before it fell to the floor. Wow, that felt good. 

“Right back at ya.” He watched as you unbuttoned your pants, sliding them down your legs along with your underwear. You knew your clothes were filthy from your travels, and almost didn’t want him to see you with them off. If he noticed how dirty they were, he didn’t say anything to you about it. 

You stepped into the shower, adjusting to the warmth of the spray as it soaked your hair and face. Running your hands across your cheeks and forehead, you scrubbed the years of dirt and sweat off your skin and into your hairline. The drops of water coated your skin, welcoming you home to a memory of a time before all of this; a time when David was little. A time when you had your old job back and took things like hot showers for granted. 

“Here, let me.” Negan stepped into the shower behind you, running a soapy washcloth along your shoulders as he pushed your hair to the side. He rubbed the base of your neck between his thumb and forefinger, dropping your chin to your chest as he scrubbed your arms and back. You felt your eyes blink heavily as the grime of time dripped down your legs and into the drain. 

His hands were magic, each stroke of the cloth like a deep tissue massage as he brought it across your chest, scrubbing under your arms and down your belly. He took his time around your breasts, pulling you into him with both hands as he made soapy circles around your nipples. He grinned against your pulse as you let out a soft moan when he squeezed them between his fingers, nibbling on your neck in the process. No one had ever done this to you… for you before. 

You lifted your arm up behind you, snaking your hand up his neck as the cloth delved between your legs. The pressure of the rag mixed with the sudden presence of his erection sliding between your cheeks made you jolt forward. 

“Oh my God,” you moaned, rocking your hips back and forth. “That feels so good.” You closed your eyes and rode the length of his cock, not letting him enter you just yet. You felt him pull the cloth backward, brushing over himself in the process as he scrubbed both your entrances and dropped the rag to the floor. 

“You like that?” He whispered, biting your shoulder as his hands fell to your hips. 

“Uh huh,” you barely uttered, rocking over him faster and faster as the tip of his head hit your clit. “Uh huh!” You cried out in a voice that was so high-pitched you barely even recognized it. 

“Good.” He growled, bending you over just enough to slide inside of you. “I like that too.” He licked his lips and pushed himself inside of you, forcing your hands to brace yourself against the shower wall. 

You weren’t prepared for his size, your walls clenching down around him as you did your best to ease him inside. You kept up the rhythm of your hips as he pumped up against you, stretching you out and filling you up for the first time since you could remember. That high euphoric feeling from before seemed a distant memory as you felt his balls slap against your clit, sending waves of pleasure so deep into your nerves and muscles that you thought you might explode. You wanted to feel like this forever. You wanted this pleasure, this bliss to consume you even if it meant you would burst into flames. 

You felt him grab your hair as his pace quickened, the sound of water splashing and skin slapping echoing against the drab tiles of the shower stall. He pulled you up by your hair, standing you straight as he drilled you into complete and utter nirvana. Those bursts of pleasure, those lightning bolts of pure heat shot up into your stomach as he hit that most sensitive bundle of nerves. Your thighs began to quake, your insides clenching down around him as if you didn’t want him to come out of you at all. 

You screamed his name as you came around him, holding onto the shower wall for dear life as he finished inside of you. His thrusts continued throughout your gratuitously loud orgasm, a smile no doubt plastered on his face as his name continued to spill from your lips. 

“See, darlin’,” he whispered, resting his head on your shoulder. “A little ‘me time’ can do wonders for your mood.”


	3. Chapter 3

You rolled over in bed as the clean sheets caressed your freshly shaven legs, pulling you into a cocoon of comfort as your eyes batted open. Vanilla bean emanated off your skin and hair as you turned your head to see the beautiful room you’d been resting in. It was spacious, cool and extravagant. A crystal chandelier hung above the four poster bed, each jewel reflecting an intricate design onto the wall. Had there even been a zombie apocalypse? Were the last few years of suffering all just a dream?

Oh no, David! Where was he? You shot up as the thought alarmed in your brain, making you quickly forget about the sweet smelling smoothness of your skin. How could you have forgotten him? How could you have been so irresponsible? How did you end up in this strange bed? These aren’t your comfy sheets, this isn’t your beautiful bed, this isn’t your luxurious house!

“Hey, darlin’, where’s the fire?” Negan sat up and looked at you, scooting himself up in bed. 

Oh, shit. The zombie apocalypse DID happen. You rubbed your eyes as you began to wake up, remembering the course of events that led you to to this place, to his bed. 

“Where’s David? What time is it?” You glanced around the room for a clock, knowing full well it was a fruitless search. You looked at your wrist for your watch, but remembered you had taken it off along with everything else before your shower. 

“He’s with one of my top people, remember?” He kissed your shoulder and started playing with your hair. “You’re safe now. He’s safe.” He continued to plant kisses along your shoulder, neck, and jawline until he reached your lips. 

Oh yeah, you remembered now. Waking up in a strange bed had always disoriented you, but this was on another level. You were clean, not only that, but you smelled good, felt good, and ached a little bit from your rendezvous in the shower. You took in a deep breath as he kissed you, the memories of him washing you flashing back in bits and pieces.

“You slept like the dead.” He winked at you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Can’t say that I blame you.” 

“What time is it?” You repeated, needing to know if you could still put David to bed or not. Negan’s curtains were drawn and it was hard to tell if you were seeing the haze of the sunrise or sunset. “And who is this ‘top person’ of yours spending all this time with my son, huh?”

“There she is,” he smiled, tugging on that same strand of hair. “Always a stickler for logistics.” He studied your features and smirked, taking the hint you wouldn’t move past this. “Her name’s Sherry, and she was a babysitter before the world went to shit, so you have nothing to worry about.” He let his hand fall down your neck and shoulders, tracing the outline of your breast. 

“And it’s around six in the mornin’. Whaddya say we go back to bed.” He rose his eyebrows expectantly, cupping your face as he kissed you again.

You smiled as you finally found your place in time, comforted by the fact that a woman was looking after David, and not some rough around the edges Savior. Maybe this was going to work out, after all. “I am still tired,” you admitted, leaning back with him against his chest. 

His dark hair was soft against your cheek as you playfully weaved your fingers through it. The smell of his skin was fresh and clean from the shower, reminding you of a wave crashing against a cliff. You let your eyes close again as you felt his heart beat slow and steady through his pecs, making you forget the nervous breakdown you had a moment ago.

He smoothed a hand over your hair, making you feel at home more than ever, his lips pressing a kiss into your scalp as his chest rose and fell against you. “We can just lay here for a few more hours, then I’ve got a nice clean dress for you to change into.” He kissed your forehead. 

“A dress?” You sat up, leaning on your elbow. 

“All my wives wear dresses,” he stated matter of factly.

“All,” you chuckled nervously, feeling a tightness in your chest. “Wives…” you laughed again, not able to make any goddamn sense. “Right.” 

You looked at your fingers as they played with his chest hair, unable to look at his face after you showed him the cards you were holding. You knew that he had wives; more than one, more than three, actually, but you couldn’t be sure of the exact number. You held your breath as your pulse began to pump loudly in your ears, the beats almost deafening as you avoided his stare. Wives? You felt your stomach churn. Wives? It all became so real now. 

“What, you don’t like dresses?” he asked, smirking as he lifted your chin. “Didn’t you have a good time in the shower?”

“I did,” you told him, remembering how good he made you feel. “I just… I don’t want to disappoint you.” You were hoping this would be less difficult if you made it about pleasing him. “I haven’t played the role of ‘wife’ in a long time.”

“But you have before?” He looked at you expectantly.

You sucked in your breath, looking at the wall, the ceiling, anywhere but into his eyes. You could feel your hands start to shake as the memory of your marriage made its way into your head, cursing your trusting nature.

“Hey,” He pulled you back from your thoughts.

“It was a long time ago, it uh…” you blinked erratically and swallowed hard, the pain you’d forgotten quickly washing over you as if it had only just happened. You shouldn’t be telling him this, not this soon anyways. He doesn’t care about your sad story. You’re just going to kill the mood.

“You can tell me.” His hazel eyes were earnest as they looked you over, pleading for an explanation.

“He lied to me,” you started. “The whole time we were together; talked me into marrying him, into having a kid with him, and then…” You took in a deep breath, sitting up completely with your back to him. “Then I found out he was living this double life. Countless other women tried to tell me over the years. The signs were there, right in front of my face, I just chose to ignore them.” 

You pulled your knees up into your chest, hugging your thighs as you stared blankly at the wall. “I was in love, and I thought he loved me.” You ran a hand through your hair. “I was wrong.”

Negan stared at you, his gaze burning a hole in the back of your head as your confession filled the air; his silence just as potent. You could hear him rub his palm against the whiskers on his cheeks loud enough as if they were piano keys banging against their strings.

You knew you shouldn’t have told him, that you would ruin this even before you had a chance to let it start. Was he mad? Annoyed? Turned off? Was he regretting even letting you into his bed? Why did you have to be so honest all of the goddamn time? 

Wait, why wasn’t he talking? All he did was talk. You expected him to speak, to curse or joke or say… something. After enough silence you looked back at him, wondering if he was shaking his head in disbelief or smirking at how pathetic and unimportant your story was. Instead he was staring off into the distance, looking out the window with a solemn profile as he swallowed hard.

“Negan?” You whispered, just loud enough to get his attention.

He cleared his throat, shaking his head as if to get rid of some distant memory before looking back at you. His eyes were wet with what you would think were tears if you were looking at any other human being, but this was Negan. 

“Sorry darlin’,” he started, clearing his throat again and forcing a smile. “I was just trying to think about what kind of fucking asshole would do that to a beautiful woman.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Why don’t we forget about the dress and that asshole for a while?” His words were kind in intention, dripping heavily from his lips. That didn’t seem to soften the blow any when they reached your ears though, reminding you of the last time you were rejected. Why should your love life in the apocalypse be any different than your love life in the old world?

You felt his absence more deeply than you had anticipated, your heart dropping into your stomach as he decided to go on a run the exact same day that you’d slept in his bed. He got you a clean shirt and jeans to change into at least, insisting on burning the clothes you had spent the past few years in. They were tattered and torn, not allowing any room to argue with him even if you tried. 

Your mind raced the next day or so whether you wanted it to or not, distracting you from your work in the armory. Negan had taken five of his men and six guns with him on the run, making it over twenty-four hours since they had left the Sanctuary. Did your confession spook him and make him run away? Was he turned off by you entirely? Was he going to treat you differently now that you’ve opened up to him? Did you let him in too fast? Should you have played hard to get? Why did you have to be so goddamn eager to let someone touch you, to let someone treat you like that? You knew the whole situation was too good to be true; that shower, his mouth, those hands… and maybe this place was, too.

“So, how was your little date with the boss?” Jamen interrupted your thoughts, smiling as he cleaned a rifle in the back of the room. His face and fingertips were covered in carbon, signaling how long he’d been at it as he pushed through the barrel of the military weapon with a bristle brush.

“Date?” You signed out a rifle just like his and set up shop next to your coworker. “Do those even exist anymore?” You opened the drawer and pulled out a weapons cleaning kit, unzipping the black bag and pouring it onto the table. You needed to get back into the habit of keeping your guard up. 

“According to Max they do. He told me Negan brought you by the other day and told him ‘not to wait up’ so he could spend time with you.” He sat the rifle down. “That sounds like a date to me.”

“Max isn’t my father, J.” You checked the chamber for any ammo and started taking it apart. “We just spent some time together, that’s it.” 

You didn’t want to talk about this here, with Jamen of all people. The rumors about girls and gossip were true, but you knew that the same went for men as well. The apocalypse had left little room for entertainment, so gossiping about other people’s lives was the most entertaining thing to do in the Sanctuary besides killing walkers. You’d only been here a couple of weeks, and you already knew far too much about most of the people here. The things you’ve heard come out of Jamen’s mouth, well… you could only imagine what he’d say if you told him the truth.

“I see you got new clothes and a shower.” He winked at you, putting the pieces back together. “Negan help you with that?”

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” You put your eye to the barrel, looking for any flecks of carbon or obvious obstructions. “Why don’t we talk about how badly you need to shower, huh?” You nudged him with your shoulder and forced a smile, hoping to shift gears to another topic of conversation. 

“Ha, touché, mama, touché.” He smiled and dropped the subject, picking up on the fact you didn’t want to keep talking about it. “Did you hear that they found another community to get resources from?”

Jamen spent the rest of your shift talking about what he’d heard from Simon on the new community they found the other day. They called it the Hilltop, and it was full of lush gardens and other crops they could use here at the Sanctuary. Maybe it wasn’t you that scared Negan off after all. Maybe he just needed to get more supplies from this new community. Maybe you should stop worrying about his motivations and finish the weapons log before second shift came in to relieve you.   
———————  
The air outside was hot and sticky, no oscillating fan in the corner to cool you down as you walked towards the soccer field to look for David. You put your hand above your eyes to shield them from the setting sun and saw him kicking the ball with a tall man in a white t-shirt. His laughter travelled across the air as he volleyed back and forth with him, missing the black and white ball as it rolled past him toward you. 

“Uh oh, Mama’s here,” Negan trotted toward you and picked up the ball, holding it loosely against his abdomen. “Looks like we’re in trouble.” He winked at you and looked back at David, beckoning for him to come over. 

Negan? Playing ball with David… your David? You’d never seen him like this, in just his t-shirt before. Sure, you’d seen him naked a few days ago, but this… this was different. He was sweating, no, glowing from his game with your son, tiny beads of perspiration dripping down his temples and into the salt and pepper of his beard. His skin wrinkled as he smiled at you, enveloping those droplets of sweat completely as those perfect teeth of his made your chest warm up.

“Back so soon?” You crossed your arms over your chest, debating whether or not to put your walls back up with brick and mortar, or just to leave the wooden planks as they were. 

“Just got back.” He breathed in heavily, winded from his sprint as he tossed the ball to David. His hand inadvertently found its way into your son’s hair, ruffling his locks as he held onto the ball.

“Thanks, Mr. Negan.” David squinted as he looked up at him and smiled, the sun bringing out golden hues in his hair as Negan’s fingers playfully ran through it. 

“Just call me Negan,” he told him, bending down to his height. “And you can keep that ball if you want.” His smile was electric, lighting up your son’s face for the first time since you arrived there. 

David had never been this happy to spend time with anyone else in your group before, no matter how nice they were to him. Jim had tried to teach him fishing, Toni had cooked with him, but he never quite warmed up to them, not like this, and never this quickly. Maybe your attraction to Negan was genetic, and there was nothing either of you could do about it. 

“Thanks for the ball, Negan!” He smiled again and looked up at you, his dark eyes wide with joy and comfort. “Are you going to protect me?” David looked back at your bedfellow, the innocent question he asked everyone suddenly slipping out without warning. 

“Of course I am, David! That’s what we do here! We save people!” Negan placed his hand on David’s shoulder, the sound of your son’s name in his mouth both exciting and scary. “As long as you’re at the Sanctuary, I will do everything, and I do mean everything,” he paused for effect, looking up at you and licking his lips, “To make sure you and your mom are safe.” He squeezed his shoulder, smiling at him before tapping his chin with the back of his knuckle. 

“No more monsters?” David asked.

“No more monsters,” he promised. “Now, whaddya say I take your mom out for dinner, and you get to hang out with Aunt Sherry and Uncle Dwight for the night? I’ll have her back in time to read you your bedtime story.”

“I don’t need bedtime stories anymore. I’m a big boy.” David stood tall, puffing up his chest. 

“Well alright then, I’ll have her home before you go to bed without your bedtime story. Sound good?” 

“Sounds good!” David dropped the soccer ball and wrapped his arms around Negan, surprising all three of you.

You were beginning to think that the apocalypse had turned David into a sociopath, a boy with only a few emotions left that were key to his survival. He barely hugged you anymore now that you thought about it, barely kissed you or expressed joy until he walked through the gates of the Sanctuary. Now he was holding this man closer than he’s ever bothered to bring you in the five years of his existence. 

You half expected Negan to pull back, to retract from the affection and shrug him off. Instead he chuckled and embraced your son’s tiny arms around his neck as he wrapped his big hands around his shoulders, patting him gently on the back.

An odd feeling came over you as you witnessed the man with romantic interest in you interact with your child. Butterflies in your stomach threatened to turn it over completely as a wave of heat washed over your entire body. What is this feeling, so sudden and new? This feeling was different from the attraction you felt when you were alone with Negan. It was different from the unadulterated love you had for your child. It was somewhere in between the two, and you weren’t exactly sure how to react to it. Was this what normal mothers felt like when their husbands spent time with their children? Is this what you’d been missing out on the entire time you were a single mom? Is this… happiness? Could something like this even be real? 

Negan let go of David and stood up, his smile wide as he took your hand. “Whaddya say, mom? You hungry?”


	5. Chapter 5

“What you did out there with David… it…” You took in a deep breath, still unable to fully process the emotions your brain was producing. “It was nice.” You ran a hand through your hair and looked at the floor. 

“Oh, little Davey and I’s soccer game? That was nothing.” He ran his tongue across his lips, stepping toward you. “He’s a good kid, and a hell of a kicker! You teach him that, or is he just naturally that strong and fast?”

“He’s a five year-old, Negan. They have endless amounts of energy.” You roll your eyes and get back on track. “David hasn’t warmed up to anyone like that since this started, not even to Jim.”

“Did you fuck Jim?” He rose a curious eyebrow.

“What? No! He’s like sixty-five!”

“I gotta ask,” he smiled, biting his lip as he sauntered toward you. “Need to know where my competition is.”

“Well, unless you plan on competing in a long game of gin rummy, I think you can check Jim off your list.” You felt the heat from his stare, almost making you forget the doubts that sullied your thoughts for the past two days. Almost. “I didn’t think you’d be back tonight. Do you always leave like that? Without warning?”

“I had business to attend to.” His hands found their way to your hips, sliding his fingers between the belt loops of your new jeans. 

“Business? In the apocalypse?” You remembered what Jamen had told you about the Hilltop, but you wanted to hear it from him.

“Trust me…” You let him pull you close, his lips a moment away from yours. 

“I’m trying.” You confessed.

He rolled his tongue around the inside of his mouth, looking from side to side as if he couldn’t believe how impossible you were being. His eyes looked you over, pausing on each body part before reaching your face with a grin as he reached into his pocket. “I got something for you.” 

What was that? Did he just say he got something for… you? You were certain you had scared him away days ago, but now he was bearing gifts? This had to be a dream, all of this: the shower, the sex, the soccer game, his eagerness... Maybe if you were lucky enough, it would be a good long while before anyone tried to wake you up. You held his mesmerizing gaze as he dug into his back pocket, squeezing your other hand gently.

“I know you’re not going to jump on the trust wagon with me right away,” he pulled out a small jewelry box, “But I thought we could start with this.”   
Negan let go of your other hand and opened the clamshell to reveal a simple diamond necklace. It was small and quaint, a circular diamond in a basic setting with a thin gold chain to keep it together. It was brilliant, in every essence of the word, shining brightly in this dark and sullen place.

You had never really cared for jewelry, even before the world had changed. You thought it was stupid and meaningless, wasting money on something so impractical when you could be using it to pay off your car or house. You’d seen so many women with their multiple wedding bands and settings, the main diamond sticking out like a sore thumb while they complained about their lazy husbands. All that for an expensive shiny bauble? No thank you. 

“You got this for... me?” You fingered the diamond gently, watching it sparkle in the dim light of his bedroom as it shifted under your touch. 

“Fuck yeah, I did!” He smiled and took it out of the setting, stepping behind you before you even had a chance to disagree. “Since you pitched such a fit about the dress…” He put his arms over your head, the musk from his leather jacket pungent in your nostrils as he draped the gold chain across your chest. “I figured you could wear this instead.”

His fingers traced the outline of your clavicle, pulling your hair together before pushing it to the side so he could fasten the links at the base of your neck. His touch was gentle, so faint you could barely feel it, but enough to stand the hair on the back of your neck on end. 

Maybe being with Negan wasn’t such a bad idea after all, even with his wives. Maybe your expectations for your ex-husband were too high. Maybe men were just incapable of being loyal to only one woman. Maybe you just needed to change your mindset, and enjoy the gift of Negan and his hospitality. 

“This is too much, I… I couldn’t possibly accept this.” You turned your head to address him, only to feel his lips on your shoulder as his hands smoothed down your arms. More goosebumps.

“It looks good on you,” he whispered into your neck, “Not that you need much help.” You could feel him smile against your skin, his whiskers scraping the delicate flesh on your throat as he touched the pendant on your chest.

“I want you to feel safe.” He kissed your neck. “I want your boy to be a part of this place; to grow up strong and healthy.” He kissed your jawline. “And I wanna be there to watch that happen” He kissed your lips as his words made you melt. 

You stared at him in awe, the words leaving his mouth painting the perfect picture you never knew you wanted. Did he actually want to watch David grow up? To provide for him? To provide for you? To be a… a father? A husband? Or some version of them, anyways? 

You felt your body start to quake, unable to process this school of thought as his hands held you close. All you could do was nod as he kissed you again, pulling your chin to meet his as the taste of salt and beer entered your mouth. He was so warm, so gentle, so… different.

Your clothes came off faster this time, his body providing you with a pleasure so remarkable you’d forgotten any other encounter you’d had before. He took care to kiss every inch of your body, his tongue setting your skin on fire as deep moans escaped from your lips. Your fingers weaved deep into his hair as he drew pleasure from between your legs, forcing you to beg for more the second his mouth left your body. You couldn’t remember feeling this desired, this coveted, this worshipped. 

His bed swallowed you up just as he had, his arms wrapped around your shoulders as the two of you slowed your breathing, inhaling and exhaling into each other. You could almost get used to this, his mouth between your legs, his hips against your ass, your head upon his chest. 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Dinner’s ready.” He smiled and kissed your forehead.


End file.
